26 Comments
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Dr Christine DiBlasio's avatar

Bravo to all!

Ink and Light by Nat Hale's avatar

I cried through this. On so many levels. Working with neurodiversity I know the challenges of ADHD. I saw first hand how Covid knocked so many of them out of their safe spaces. I too have walked the challenges with my son and know how it feels. But what made me cry was the love that infused every word . . . love that keeps showing up on the hard days, love that is standing for your child no matter what it takes, no matter how hard it was along the way. Yes, all parents make mistakes . . . they are irrelevant, because what is most important is that you kept trying, you stayed, you show up for your son . . . he won’t remember what you will remember but he will remember that you were there. That you had his back in the good times and the bad. Thank you for sharing this amazing story of what it means to really love.

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

I wish there was a way to write in words the big exhale I just sighed when I read your comment. Thank you. At some point in this hard, hard journey I reminded myself that I was going to keep making mistakes, but that I was going to come out of this experience trusting I had done everything I could to show up for my kid. I still make plenty of mistakes, but I love him with all my heart. Thank you for seeing that.

Ink and Light by Nat Hale's avatar

You are a great mum

Life On The Other Side's avatar

What a wonderful story of your son and his growth. And kudos to you and your husband for not giving up on him and instead showing up for him every step of the way. I know as a parent, it can be overwhelming at times when you want the best for your children, but don’t know how to go about giving them that, and yet you did the best you could and have raised an amazing son in contrast.

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

Thank you for this. Let me say, we made many many mistakes along the way. But what I can also say is that we absolutely did the best we could. I know how very lucky I am to have the kiddo I got.

Life On The Other Side's avatar

I am very curious, have you already written about wilderness therapy? I am very interested in hearing about that!

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

Yes, it pops up in a lot of my writings and is a chapter in my memoir, but here is one I wrote exclusively about wilderness for substack. Wilderness therapy was a gift to our whole family. Residential treatment was far more complicated, and I haven't written about that here yet. It's a hard one to figure out how to write in this format.

https://open.substack.com/pub/becomingreal/p/all-i-really-need-to-know-i-learned?r=5s8e0e&utm_medium=ios

Life On The Other Side's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing this! When I have a moment I’ll be sure to read it. You’ve become one of my first creators I look for with quality content!

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

Thank you for absolutely making my day with that comment. There are a few connections on here. I am building that have surprised me and how much they mean to me. You are rapidly becoming one of them:)

Life On The Other Side's avatar

That gives me such joy! I’m just happy I get to be along for this ride with you and all the other amazing content writers I’ve come to love and admire!

Life On The Other Side's avatar

And your son is lucky to have been gifted with the parents he got. Never forget that piece of the equation either! 🫶

Esther Abergel IFS Therapy's avatar

What a beautiful story. The love and care for your son is so palpable. What dedicated parents! And is had paid off and is paying off. Wonderful to hear. As a parent, I know what it’s like to be squeezed to the max with challenges from the kids, as well as experiencing the joys. May he continue to do well and succeed.

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

Thank you. It has been quite a ride. We have learned so much from him and from our other guys. Parenting is no joke!

Esther Abergel IFS Therapy's avatar

When you think in terms of learning from your kids and becoming a better parent, you’re already on a winning streak. It stretches you in ways you can’t imagine but I wouldn’t change it for anything. My kids are grown now and we have great relationships thank G-d.

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

That is a gift. I adore the relationships. I am developing with my older boys. It is so joyful to relate to them as the adults they are becoming.

Carol Longenecker Hiestand.'s avatar

it’s so good to hear this story. I think your son is so lucky to have you for parents. It’s not easy parenting a child with his challenges. my grandson went through some deep waters. now the kid who none of us were sure would graduate is now out of highschool working for a cabinet making company and seems to be thriving. I know he will face challenges as will your son….and i am relieved for where the has come. His favorite thing is that he gets paid holidays for not working. :)

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

Thank you for this. It is definitely not easy, but worth every moment of it when you see someone you love thriving. I'm so happy for your grandson too. It's a tricky world to navigate these days, I think it's particularly hard to grow up in this crazy world right now.

Kathy Toseland's avatar

As a writer I noticed how skillfully words were chosen to convey your message. As a mother of a son caught up in drug addiction, I relate fiercely.

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

I am so sorry, it is so hard when our children live in a storm.

Georgena Felicia LPCC's avatar

“Intense”

Feelings infused with Chi

See-Saw fulcrum

Sits on a fault line

“Scaffolding” as an

Exo-skeleton

Both container

And escape

Covid slammed on the brakes

Multi-million car log-jam

Scaffold crashing to earth

Foundation bottoms out

Out of the starkness

Comes the Word, the vibration

A baritone voice thunders

A cappella reverberation

Home run

Four bases loaded

The sound of success

Echoes off life’s mountains

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

“Scaffolding” as an

Exo-skeleton

Both container

And escape". This is the line that got me.

Chelsea Elizabeth's avatar

This made my heart soar! GO, your son! Finding harmony and a safe space in music is one of the most ancient and moving journeys there is! <3

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

Music has been such a healer for him and i’m so grateful. Thank you for being here!!!

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Oct 1
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The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

I totally agree. I have no talent myself, but fine when I hear really good live music. It brings up so much emotion.

Also, thank you. I love that kid, and I'm super proud of him.