Wonderful. Slightly different theme but I have always thought that when people like me are detained for their mental health with love, we will be moving in the right direction.
I love this! As a retired psychologist, as someone who has had many wonderful therapists, and someone who has relapsed several times (not from anorexia but with ME/CFS), I relate on so many levels.
The intimacy of therapy is in a class all its own. Thank you for describing how real that connection can be. Those of us who get to experience that particular kind of bond, both as therapists and clients, are uniquely blessed.
Congratulations on your recovery from anorexia. That is not an easy task. I have no doubt your story will inspire many others.
“The Velveteen Rabbit” for everyone with body image issues. That Nancy gave you the perfect gift.
Thank you for sharing your experience and for receiving my words exactly how I would hope they would be received. I am in strong agreement that getting to be a therapist and a patient is such a unique and wonderful blessing.
THANK YOU for your personal sharings that reach a universal level for me and all your readers. I use the word inspiring for your public, but use the word "triggering" for me - in the best emphatic sense of releasing a moment of clarity. I could have really really! benefited from a grandmother cut in the cloth of Nancy :-)
This is extraordinarily moving. You write about attachment, love, and time with such honesty and restraint, and it makes the depth land even more strongly.
The way you honour what she was then and what she is now, without trying to force it into a name or a category, feels so true to lived experience. Some bonds really do exist outside our usual language.
I was especially struck by the idea that what is woven with love does not unravel. That stayed with me long after reading. Thank you for trusting the reader with something this tender and real.
This is breathtakingly tender. You capture something so many people feel but rarely have language for—the way being truly seen can shape a life, even across decades and distance. The honesty, the ache, the gratitude, and the complexity all live side by side here, and you let them.
“What is woven with love does not unravel” will stay with me for a long time. Thank you for trusting your readers with something so intimate and beautifully told.
I can only imagine how precious it would have been to have really been seen at such a young but important age, maybe for the first time, and when you desperately needed help.
Her wisdom accompanied you throughout your life, from afar.
It's amazing you found her again, and discovered you mattered to her very much, in a personal way.
It is so rare to have someone like that in one's life. It might be akin to having the guidance of an elder, someone who is not invested in your life as a parent might be, but still knows you so well and only has your best interest at heart.
Beautifully written. There’s something stabilizing about being seen accurately at a formative moment, and about how that kind of seeing can echo across decades without needing to be acted on or resolved. This is a real reflection of what therapy can offer at its very best: not possession, not permanence, but a thread that helps someone become real.
Such a beautifully told story about such a special connection. This relationship with Nancy, where you felt truly seen as a teenager, clearly accompanied you throughout your life, despite the physical distance between you. My impression is that you carried, and will always carry, your experience of Nancy in your heart. ❤️
Your writing and your story are both beautiful. I could feel the warmth you and Nancy share. It's so nice that all the miles between you and the time that lapsed over the years could not fade what you two have.
I can imagine....full exposure. For me, when this deep wave of grief came from reading your words, I asked myself where is this coming from? What came to me was that it was an ancient grief of those types of connections in my own lifetimes. A deep sad grief of missing those connections where my heart was so invested that it ached. Love that your words evoked this rememberance inside me 🙏
I deeply appreciate this post. Thank you. So moving and also illustrative of how special psychotherapy can be for all involved. Mine was named Eli (Elizabeth) Dixon and she passed away in April 2015. I saw her from 1995 until 2004 or so. But we communicated every few years, spurred by me emailing her my life updates and her responding with characteristic warmth and sincerity. In March 2015 I had emailed her to say I bought her coffee table book “The Poetry of Spirituality” and that my 2 y/o daughter kept wanting to look at the pictures. She was warm as usual, and told me then that she was in hospice. But she lives on in so many people, in so many ways.
I was so lucky that when I met her, deep in my insanity, she didn’t send me to a hospital, she handed me “Grace Unfolding” by Ron Kurtz. I was 26 years old. Soon after I said, “maybe I should go to college”. She said, “That sounds like a great idea”.
This is beautiful, I teared up reading it. I had a wonderful therapist in my 20s who saw me so through much. She passed away in 2014. I was brokenhearted but also felt gratitude hat she had left her mark in me and that I would carry with me. Thank you for sharing this.
Such a connection that stretched over that length of time and has gone full circle. I'm envious. When I was 15, I was mandated into counseling, due to my mother's homicide and placement with a set of stepparents. It did not go well, as I was an angry, headstrong teenager that refused any time of communication and was finally "signed off". Because it was a county or state program it didn't seem to bother anyone, especially the stepparents. I had already spent so many years in survival mode, nobody noticed. I would have loved to have found a Nancy.
Such a powerful post. Love is love, someone said to me. I will never forget that. When you connect with someone on this level, it is a lifetime connection and then it goes beyond. Very special indeed. Love the way you wrote this piece.
This is amazing to read. It actually made me cry. That bond you describe I have never had in all my years in and out of therapy, until now with my current therapist, and your description is spot on. Even though I am middle age and not a kid, that child part has attached like never before with my current therapist. It is a very special feeling but alos kinda terrifying at the same time...
Wonderful. Slightly different theme but I have always thought that when people like me are detained for their mental health with love, we will be moving in the right direction.
I love this! As a retired psychologist, as someone who has had many wonderful therapists, and someone who has relapsed several times (not from anorexia but with ME/CFS), I relate on so many levels.
The intimacy of therapy is in a class all its own. Thank you for describing how real that connection can be. Those of us who get to experience that particular kind of bond, both as therapists and clients, are uniquely blessed.
Congratulations on your recovery from anorexia. That is not an easy task. I have no doubt your story will inspire many others.
“The Velveteen Rabbit” for everyone with body image issues. That Nancy gave you the perfect gift.
Thank you for sharing your experience and for receiving my words exactly how I would hope they would be received. I am in strong agreement that getting to be a therapist and a patient is such a unique and wonderful blessing.
Your Nancy was my Anson Levine
A Jungian Analyst in training Los Angeles
He led me through my Master’s Thesis,
Oral defense, and therapy afterwards.
Years later we took a beach boardwalk stroll
He asked me
Had I built a nice life for myself?
I likely said yes, but was actually stunned.
It had never occurred to me to build a life.
I was stuck in reacting/recovering from
What life threw at me. I needed to learn
To throw myself into life – that
Was a startling perspective at the time 😊
What a beautiful story in an important shift in your own narrative. Thank you always for sharing.
THANK YOU for your personal sharings that reach a universal level for me and all your readers. I use the word inspiring for your public, but use the word "triggering" for me - in the best emphatic sense of releasing a moment of clarity. I could have really really! benefited from a grandmother cut in the cloth of Nancy :-)
I think we all could have.
This is extraordinarily moving. You write about attachment, love, and time with such honesty and restraint, and it makes the depth land even more strongly.
The way you honour what she was then and what she is now, without trying to force it into a name or a category, feels so true to lived experience. Some bonds really do exist outside our usual language.
I was especially struck by the idea that what is woven with love does not unravel. That stayed with me long after reading. Thank you for trusting the reader with something this tender and real.
Thank you for this beautiful response. I'm so grateful for THIS relationship too:)
This is breathtakingly tender. You capture something so many people feel but rarely have language for—the way being truly seen can shape a life, even across decades and distance. The honesty, the ache, the gratitude, and the complexity all live side by side here, and you let them.
“What is woven with love does not unravel” will stay with me for a long time. Thank you for trusting your readers with something so intimate and beautifully told.
Thank you for being here (in all the ways)
Thank you for sharing this story so beautifully and with such care, I really felt the depth of connection between you both. 💛
Thank you for receiving it that way. This relationship has been so indescribably important.
I can only imagine how precious it would have been to have really been seen at such a young but important age, maybe for the first time, and when you desperately needed help.
Her wisdom accompanied you throughout your life, from afar.
It's amazing you found her again, and discovered you mattered to her very much, in a personal way.
It is so rare to have someone like that in one's life. It might be akin to having the guidance of an elder, someone who is not invested in your life as a parent might be, but still knows you so well and only has your best interest at heart.
How special.
💛
I think you have that completely right. Thank you.
I love this for you. 💛
Beautifully written. There’s something stabilizing about being seen accurately at a formative moment, and about how that kind of seeing can echo across decades without needing to be acted on or resolved. This is a real reflection of what therapy can offer at its very best: not possession, not permanence, but a thread that helps someone become real.
It was therapy at its finest. I know how lucky I was and still am!
Such a beautifully told story about such a special connection. This relationship with Nancy, where you felt truly seen as a teenager, clearly accompanied you throughout your life, despite the physical distance between you. My impression is that you carried, and will always carry, your experience of Nancy in your heart. ❤️
Your impression is 100% correct. Thank you for sharing your response with me.
Your writing and your story are both beautiful. I could feel the warmth you and Nancy share. It's so nice that all the miles between you and the time that lapsed over the years could not fade what you two have.
Thank you for this. It is so special and I will never take it for granted.
I love this. So heartfelt it brought me to tears. Thank you so much for sharing! 💕
Thank you for being here and for reading this And for sharing your reaction. This was a difficult and vulnerable one to post.
I can imagine....full exposure. For me, when this deep wave of grief came from reading your words, I asked myself where is this coming from? What came to me was that it was an ancient grief of those types of connections in my own lifetimes. A deep sad grief of missing those connections where my heart was so invested that it ached. Love that your words evoked this rememberance inside me 🙏
That is absolutely beautiful and I'm so glad the words landed in a soft place.
Thank you for being here and for reading this And for sharing your reaction. This was a difficult and vulnerable one to post.
This is absolutely stunning writing. What a beautiful gift you both have in each other. Thank you so much for sharing
This honours something we rarely let ourselves name: that being truly seen once can orient an entire life.
I appreciate how you didn’t rush to define or sanitise this bond, instead you let it remain complex, loving, unfinished… and real.
There’s something profoundly relieving in seeing attachment held with dignity instead of diagnosis.
Thank you for trusting the reader with that truth.
This is a beautiful response and thank you for being here.
I deeply appreciate this post. Thank you. So moving and also illustrative of how special psychotherapy can be for all involved. Mine was named Eli (Elizabeth) Dixon and she passed away in April 2015. I saw her from 1995 until 2004 or so. But we communicated every few years, spurred by me emailing her my life updates and her responding with characteristic warmth and sincerity. In March 2015 I had emailed her to say I bought her coffee table book “The Poetry of Spirituality” and that my 2 y/o daughter kept wanting to look at the pictures. She was warm as usual, and told me then that she was in hospice. But she lives on in so many people, in so many ways.
I was so lucky that when I met her, deep in my insanity, she didn’t send me to a hospital, she handed me “Grace Unfolding” by Ron Kurtz. I was 26 years old. Soon after I said, “maybe I should go to college”. She said, “That sounds like a great idea”.
This is beautiful, I teared up reading it. I had a wonderful therapist in my 20s who saw me so through much. She passed away in 2014. I was brokenhearted but also felt gratitude hat she had left her mark in me and that I would carry with me. Thank you for sharing this.
Such a connection that stretched over that length of time and has gone full circle. I'm envious. When I was 15, I was mandated into counseling, due to my mother's homicide and placement with a set of stepparents. It did not go well, as I was an angry, headstrong teenager that refused any time of communication and was finally "signed off". Because it was a county or state program it didn't seem to bother anyone, especially the stepparents. I had already spent so many years in survival mode, nobody noticed. I would have loved to have found a Nancy.
I'm sorry you didn't. I was beyond lucky and I will always have gratitude for that.
Such a powerful post. Love is love, someone said to me. I will never forget that. When you connect with someone on this level, it is a lifetime connection and then it goes beyond. Very special indeed. Love the way you wrote this piece.
Thank you so much. And yes, I am so grateful for this very special version of love in my life.
This is amazing to read. It actually made me cry. That bond you describe I have never had in all my years in and out of therapy, until now with my current therapist, and your description is spot on. Even though I am middle age and not a kid, that child part has attached like never before with my current therapist. It is a very special feeling but alos kinda terrifying at the same time...
Yes, it is beautiful and terrifying, somehow how all at once. I'm so glad you've found that connection, it's beyond special.