I disagree with the message. Keep writing. I am intimately familiar with the idea of ‘hiding’. If you have found a way to 'stay awake and own your life,' celebrate!
Just because you post daily, doesn’t mean your readers have to read every single post. I don’t see this as a problem at all. As a reader, I can choose how frequently I engage and not feel compulsively driven to read everything.
Humble suggestion question... might it work if you wrote as much as you want but posted twice weekly? Or weekly? A long post " various musing from the past days vol 2" ? And when you specifically want feedback, conversation do thst as a stand alone ? Obviously I have too much time and opinions
I appreciate humble suggestions/questions. Yes, this is a possibility and something I may move towards. That said, I am often filled up by the engagement, sometimes here on Substack, but also from the people who also know me in real life and send texts/emails that open up meaningful conversation. I started writing on her to see if I could “build a platform” as I start to work towards trying to publish my book, but this space has become something entirely different for me. It really has been mostly a place of connection and I’m not sure I want to make decisions driven by metrics. I am going to keep reflecting (because I can’t help myself) and see where I get to…
as i was having a smoke and second guessing myself and thinking i should change my handle to “unwanted suggestions” (maybe it wasn’t unwanted.. god.. how fleeting my thoughts are) i also thought the post could be a choose your own adventure…and here is a serious question… why a book ? (this from a past book shop owner) … is it about getting the ideas out, money generating? Just curious, especially as there is now alternatives like, well, here, podcasts, medium, etc. But I love books. Especially beautiful books.
So I've got to be honest, the book wasn't well thought out. It's definitely not to make money. I wrote it for myself, totally therapeutic and not at all thinking it would be something I would share with anyone. But it's evolved organically, and the more I share my story the more I want to share my story. As you can tell from my post, I have a whole lot of ambivalence about it, but also I feel driven to share. I guess I'll figure out what that's about in therapy someday. Or not!
Also, I love books too. I have always found it helpful to hear other people's stories and understand myself though someone else's lens. I guess I'm looking to get on the other side of that too.
There's actually no reason you should know. It is a memoir of sorts. Essentially, it is a story of my disintegration and reintegration told through the lens of internal family systems. In more human language, it is my story told from my professional lens, but it is the very personal story of my coming undone and rebuilding. Which of course, is still very much a work in progress.
These are indeed stories that need to be told. People talk of stigma diminishing, but it hasn’t, much. It is good that people here about breakdown (and hopefully recovery). I find this space very encouraging in that way. And maybe you can bridge the intellectual of theory and IFS with the emotional that drives core beliefs. Me and emotions, we don’t talk. Question… would you suggest you were a “type A” person? and does your substack experience smack the A in the face and say no no, here we will be messy? (I have no evidence, just an old guy typing away in the morning)
Wow. Whoever this person is, s/he isn't obligated to read everything you post. Please, don't slow it down! Please write as much as you are moved to write. At least, that's my opinion.
It's kind of ironic, really. I tend to feel bad when I can't keep up with the posts of the writers I enjoy here on Substack. There are so many excellent, thoughtful and "thought-and-feeling-provoking" things to read here! Would I ever dream of asking them to adjust their writing and posting habits to accommodate my comfort level? No! I say, let your fire hose spray all it wants.
Interesting thoughts. My feeling is that if, as a writer, you can be yourself—and that includes how many posts/notes you make—then there is no competition. And I try to stay true to that no matter what. Having said that, your reader has a point as well. I have one person that I subscribe to that puts out 5-6 pieces every 24 hours and at this point, as good as this writer is, I end up deleting most because I am so overwhelmed. If, I were this particular writer, I wouldn’t change a thing if that’s the schedule and the output I do. I loved your ending of thanking those who walk with you and I also love the thought that not everyone will… and that’s ok too.
Thank you for this. I think so much is about why you are writing and for whom. At this point ii think I am really writing for me, but perhaps that will change. It helps this isn't my job or career so that gives me some freedom to really explore these questions.
I understand exactly what you feel. I felt the same when I started writing… An urge to pour out everything into words. Because I was silent for a long time. I considered everything i went through and every bad thing which happened to me was because of me. It took hours of therapy to unwrap the tightly wrapped trauma & hurt & feelings of abandonment. Once i started processing it I started writing and couldn’t stop writing or crying… So get u completely. I am new here and is reading a lot like I have been starving.. Your experiences connect with me and I feel a strange kinship with you even though u are a total stranger 1000s of miles away.
So those who don’t want to read all your posts, need not read .
But keep writing for some like me who is voraciously devouring everything you offer☺️
I mean, all I can say is oh wow. Perhaps you do know what this means to me, but I cannot express enough gratitude for what you just shared with me. The Internet is a strange place, and I have not been on social media much before this, but the connections are powerful. Thank you for this.
I too have struggled with your prodigious and generous sharing, especially wen I do get to read and find myself moved and stimilated by your processing of life. I have been hitting the delete button when I can’t find the head or heart space to take in any more, often because I’m still digesting what came before, from you and just life.
And I appreciate very much your sharing of the comment you received and your responses to that because it’s given me the opportunity to say something too.
I want to say thank you for your courage in putting yourself out here, and for the openness to meet and engage in what is created for all of us in the encounter. I will feel a little less guilty for hitting the delete button when I need to and will look forward to reading what you have to say when I can.
I love this. Yes, this is what I have leaned into. It is not my job to “curate” my writing to meet someone’s needs (afterall, everyone has different needs), it is everyone’s job to filter as it feels right for them. Of course, I want you (and others) to read! But also, it is good for all of us, to give and take as is healthy for us. Thank you for sharing this and I will happy to hear from you when you have the time and space to read and respond.
Good morning, and may you have a Labor Day that honors your labors and your rests, in due proportion.
I struggled with wanting to keep up with you as well, trying to wade thru all the posts I missed, and the structure of substack made that challenging.
I appreciate that you share your process to sharing, as well as the share itself.
I’m also reassured, that when your book is birthed that I will be able to read the story in its final sequence, as you intended.
I’m often up by 4am NM time, and check my email for my daily dose of you. I will bemoan the day that you slow down, yet I encourage everyone to be mindful of their own pacing, and that we may shift gears mid-stream.
I appreciate that you respond to my “missives”, your writing specifically sparks me to think; in the tradition of call and response, I honor you by sharing what has arisen for me. You inspire me!!
Totally get that. And you have to do what's best for you. But I will say I've enjoyed having you here and even when my posts are serial, I write them all to be standalone so you can always feel free to ignore.
Just enough. Kudos on embracing that you are not for everyone and that is OK! Write on.
Well A sincere thank you for that!
I disagree with the message. Keep writing. I am intimately familiar with the idea of ‘hiding’. If you have found a way to 'stay awake and own your life,' celebrate!
I’ve learned a lot through your posts. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this perspective!
Just because you post daily, doesn’t mean your readers have to read every single post. I don’t see this as a problem at all. As a reader, I can choose how frequently I engage and not feel compulsively driven to read everything.
Thank you for this!
Humble suggestion question... might it work if you wrote as much as you want but posted twice weekly? Or weekly? A long post " various musing from the past days vol 2" ? And when you specifically want feedback, conversation do thst as a stand alone ? Obviously I have too much time and opinions
I appreciate humble suggestions/questions. Yes, this is a possibility and something I may move towards. That said, I am often filled up by the engagement, sometimes here on Substack, but also from the people who also know me in real life and send texts/emails that open up meaningful conversation. I started writing on her to see if I could “build a platform” as I start to work towards trying to publish my book, but this space has become something entirely different for me. It really has been mostly a place of connection and I’m not sure I want to make decisions driven by metrics. I am going to keep reflecting (because I can’t help myself) and see where I get to…
as i was having a smoke and second guessing myself and thinking i should change my handle to “unwanted suggestions” (maybe it wasn’t unwanted.. god.. how fleeting my thoughts are) i also thought the post could be a choose your own adventure…and here is a serious question… why a book ? (this from a past book shop owner) … is it about getting the ideas out, money generating? Just curious, especially as there is now alternatives like, well, here, podcasts, medium, etc. But I love books. Especially beautiful books.
So I've got to be honest, the book wasn't well thought out. It's definitely not to make money. I wrote it for myself, totally therapeutic and not at all thinking it would be something I would share with anyone. But it's evolved organically, and the more I share my story the more I want to share my story. As you can tell from my post, I have a whole lot of ambivalence about it, but also I feel driven to share. I guess I'll figure out what that's about in therapy someday. Or not!
Also, I love books too. I have always found it helpful to hear other people's stories and understand myself though someone else's lens. I guess I'm looking to get on the other side of that too.
I probably should know so I apologize in advance for my inconsiderate ignorance… what is the book about ?
There's actually no reason you should know. It is a memoir of sorts. Essentially, it is a story of my disintegration and reintegration told through the lens of internal family systems. In more human language, it is my story told from my professional lens, but it is the very personal story of my coming undone and rebuilding. Which of course, is still very much a work in progress.
These are indeed stories that need to be told. People talk of stigma diminishing, but it hasn’t, much. It is good that people here about breakdown (and hopefully recovery). I find this space very encouraging in that way. And maybe you can bridge the intellectual of theory and IFS with the emotional that drives core beliefs. Me and emotions, we don’t talk. Question… would you suggest you were a “type A” person? and does your substack experience smack the A in the face and say no no, here we will be messy? (I have no evidence, just an old guy typing away in the morning)
Wow. Whoever this person is, s/he isn't obligated to read everything you post. Please, don't slow it down! Please write as much as you are moved to write. At least, that's my opinion.
It's kind of ironic, really. I tend to feel bad when I can't keep up with the posts of the writers I enjoy here on Substack. There are so many excellent, thoughtful and "thought-and-feeling-provoking" things to read here! Would I ever dream of asking them to adjust their writing and posting habits to accommodate my comfort level? No! I say, let your fire hose spray all it wants.
Interesting thoughts. My feeling is that if, as a writer, you can be yourself—and that includes how many posts/notes you make—then there is no competition. And I try to stay true to that no matter what. Having said that, your reader has a point as well. I have one person that I subscribe to that puts out 5-6 pieces every 24 hours and at this point, as good as this writer is, I end up deleting most because I am so overwhelmed. If, I were this particular writer, I wouldn’t change a thing if that’s the schedule and the output I do. I loved your ending of thanking those who walk with you and I also love the thought that not everyone will… and that’s ok too.
Thank you for this. I think so much is about why you are writing and for whom. At this point ii think I am really writing for me, but perhaps that will change. It helps this isn't my job or career so that gives me some freedom to really explore these questions.
I find it just enough. Always thought provoking.
Thank you for this. I feel unbelievably lucky to have found this corner of the Internet.
I understand exactly what you feel. I felt the same when I started writing… An urge to pour out everything into words. Because I was silent for a long time. I considered everything i went through and every bad thing which happened to me was because of me. It took hours of therapy to unwrap the tightly wrapped trauma & hurt & feelings of abandonment. Once i started processing it I started writing and couldn’t stop writing or crying… So get u completely. I am new here and is reading a lot like I have been starving.. Your experiences connect with me and I feel a strange kinship with you even though u are a total stranger 1000s of miles away.
So those who don’t want to read all your posts, need not read .
But keep writing for some like me who is voraciously devouring everything you offer☺️
I mean, all I can say is oh wow. Perhaps you do know what this means to me, but I cannot express enough gratitude for what you just shared with me. The Internet is a strange place, and I have not been on social media much before this, but the connections are powerful. Thank you for this.
Keep writing. I am reading💙
I too have struggled with your prodigious and generous sharing, especially wen I do get to read and find myself moved and stimilated by your processing of life. I have been hitting the delete button when I can’t find the head or heart space to take in any more, often because I’m still digesting what came before, from you and just life.
And I appreciate very much your sharing of the comment you received and your responses to that because it’s given me the opportunity to say something too.
I want to say thank you for your courage in putting yourself out here, and for the openness to meet and engage in what is created for all of us in the encounter. I will feel a little less guilty for hitting the delete button when I need to and will look forward to reading what you have to say when I can.
I love this. Yes, this is what I have leaned into. It is not my job to “curate” my writing to meet someone’s needs (afterall, everyone has different needs), it is everyone’s job to filter as it feels right for them. Of course, I want you (and others) to read! But also, it is good for all of us, to give and take as is healthy for us. Thank you for sharing this and I will happy to hear from you when you have the time and space to read and respond.
Good morning, and may you have a Labor Day that honors your labors and your rests, in due proportion.
I struggled with wanting to keep up with you as well, trying to wade thru all the posts I missed, and the structure of substack made that challenging.
I appreciate that you share your process to sharing, as well as the share itself.
I’m also reassured, that when your book is birthed that I will be able to read the story in its final sequence, as you intended.
I’m often up by 4am NM time, and check my email for my daily dose of you. I will bemoan the day that you slow down, yet I encourage everyone to be mindful of their own pacing, and that we may shift gears mid-stream.
I appreciate that you respond to my “missives”, your writing specifically sparks me to think; in the tradition of call and response, I honor you by sharing what has arisen for me. You inspire me!!
Totally get that. And you have to do what's best for you. But I will say I've enjoyed having you here and even when my posts are serial, I write them all to be standalone so you can always feel free to ignore.