16 Comments
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Dr. Nicole Mirkin's avatar

This is such a powerful reminder that conflict doesn’t break strong bonds, silence does. The way you both stayed, softened, and listened is real love.

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

It was a (painful) gift.

Adrião Pereira da Cunha's avatar

This piece touched something deep and tender. It’s not just a story about a fight it’s a love letter to friendship in its most human form. The way you describe the years of shared life, the quiet loyalty, the unspoken trust it’s breathtaking. And then, when conflict came, you didn’t run. You stayed. You let your voice tremble, and still you spoke. That moment on the roadside, two women holding each other in the dark, is one of the most beautiful images I’ve read. It’s a reminder that real love real friendship isn’t about perfection. It’s about choosing each other, even when it’s hard. Especially then.

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

Thank you for this, and yes, especially then. It truly is a beautiful friendship and one I don't wanna let go of just because I'm not brave enough to be vulnerable. But it is so scary to be vulnerable, even when you know it is in a safe space. Sometimes I forget that.

Ink and Light by Nat Hale's avatar

This really touched me. The moment when you said “Don’t go” stopped me — such a powerful act of love in the middle of something raw. I know that instinct to disappear when someone I care about sounds angry; the flinch, the silence, the way every cell wants to flee. It takes real courage to stay and speak instead of vanish.

You captured that beautifully — the honesty, the listening, the slow softening. The image of you both standing there in the dark, reflective vests glinting, hugging through sweat and tears — it’s so vivid, so human.

What you’ve written shows how real friendship isn’t the absence of conflict, but the willingness to keep finding your way back to each other. Thank you for writing it with such tenderness and truth.

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

Thank you for being here, always.

Dwight Lee Wolter's avatar

In this very insightful piece, you mention “choosing silence over honesty.” To me, silence CAN be honesty. A tongue that is not wagging can be as eloquent as the one that rarely stops. -Peace, Dwight Lee Wolter

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

I don't disagree. I guess the important thing is being intentional about whether or not to stay silent or to speak what is in your heart and mind. For me, I have spent a lot of time being silent when I need to speak. But you are absolutely right.

Dwight Lee Wolter's avatar

I believe we are both right.

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

Well we are in agreement about that too!

Georgena Felicia LPCC's avatar

When one can’t leave

One is forced in to quietude

New perspectives may rise

If the other is willing

And has been quiet as well

This is the time to initiate

The Mending.

This telling is “text book” perfect!

I hope there is a fair amount of

This sort of processing with

Best possible outcome shared in Your Memoire. :-)

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

Mann, sometimes staying as hard, but it's never the wrong choice.

Georgena Felicia LPCC's avatar

My over analyzing kicked in, but rereading your work, I edited myself in to "essence", that was all I could do! The universe conspired to trap you. Verbalizing is your life raft if "we"/whom-ever want to get to the shore together! Well navigated, elicited hugs, amazing grace!

Kathy Toseland's avatar

I spent so many years silencing myself, actually running g away, in my family of origin and early in my marriage. But, luckily, I was graced with several friends who taught me a new way of being g in relationship , of voicing and staying and feeling amazing love and acceptance and reconciliation. Thank you for sharing your experience

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

It is wonderful you have people who helped you learn how to stay. I'm guessing it's no accident that you found people like that.

Brenda's avatar

Beautiful how you both made space for one another. Glad you were able to repair and become even more closely connected. Conflict is often an opportunity for deeper connection in disguise.